Recently I attended a talk by Dr Michael Carr-Gregg on Cyberbullying.  If you are interested, I would like to share my notes with you.

Firstly, Dr Carr-Greg discussed what is bullying and what it is not. Carr-Greg recommends parents download the Bully Hurts brochure from the National Centre Against Bullying. This concise publication outlines five kinds of bullying, what bullying is and what it is not and information and advice on what to do if bullying is happening.

Carr-Greg recommended a number of books on this subject, his own titles as well as:

• The Recess Queen By Laura Huliska-Beith
• Bully Blocking By Evelyn M. Field
• Destroying Avalon by Kate McCaffrey (not suitable for under Year 10)

Throughout the talk Dr Carr-Greg reiterated his view that parents need to develop a "digital spine" and take responsbility for helping, guiding and educating children as they journey on the super highway of the digital world. Fundamently, children need to learn the skills required to contribute positively to "Cyberia". While schools take a role in this education process, it is the parents responsibility to set the boundaries of appropriate digital access and take decisive action to address unwanted behaviour.

Dr Carr-Greg put forward a number of strategies to assist parent to do this, including setting limits and boundaries over the things that matter, such as:

• sleep
• alcohol
• drugs
• Internet use
• excercise
• diet
• curfew 

and follow through with consequences washed down with a healthy dose of Vitamin N (no).

Other useful tips Carr-Greg provided include:

1. Use the parental controls on XBox360 and like to limit usage to appropriate and short times eg once a week on a Friday night for 2 hours
2. Download Windows Live Family Safety latest edition which will assist in the monitoring and filtering of Internet use. Dr Carr-Greg suggests being up front and open about using this tool and include it as a condition of laptop, computer use.
3. Check your child's digital footprint by typing their name in commas (eg "kate smith") into Google or like search engine.
4. Set up a Google alert for your child's name to receive an automatic update if their name appears on the Internet.
5. For mobile phones there are a number of filters such as Net Nanny, K9 Web Protection and Kaspersky mobile security to monitor and filter phone usage.
6. An alternative to Facebook is Togetherville, which is descibed by Dr Carr-Greg as social networking on training wheels.
7. Get further educated by visiting the Cybersmart website and studying the resources under the Parents tab.
8. Download the Cybersafety Help Button which will give children and teenagers instant access to help and information on cybersafety issues 24/7.
9. Work with your school to develop a bullying and cyberbullying declaration, sign and post around the school.
10. Develop in our children, through role playing, a capacity to intervene. Teach our children to say "That is bullying. We don't do that at our school."
11. Role play with our children what to say if being bullied. Such as "I don't like it when you talk to me like that." And to walk away.

Overall, Dr Carr-Greg encourages parents to:

• Get educated through books and websites
• Set boundaries and conditions of digital use, monitor and be active in their online life (eg be their friend on Facebook, Facebook not suitable for under 13)
• Roleplay with children to build in them the capacity to intervene if bystander and to walk away if being bullied.
• Get professional help for bully and person being bullied straight away. GP may be able to refer to psychologist on medicare. Don't be an optimist - it may not go away by itself, it is not a part of normal school life, bullying does not strenghten character - it hurts and destroys character.
• If you perceive your concerns are not being dealt with, escalate your concerns up the ladder of heirachy.

Dr Carr-Greg wound up the talk by saying the digital world is not going away, it is better to embrace it then wish it would go away - it ain't! Just like we will teach our children to drive on our suburban roads, we must put in place the same training, boundaries, rules and regulations on driving on the super highway of the Internet - and supervise them, guide them and intervene when behaviour is not appropriate/effective.

I encourage all parents and grandparents to attend one of Dr Michael Carr-Gregg presentations. I found it full of practical information. For more information visit Dr Michael Carr-Gregg website